This term Year 6 had their dreaded SATS exams!  Just to give our readers a flavour of what it was like, we have written a little skit about our experiences while preparing for these exams.

Act 1  Preparation for SATS

Teacher preparing Y6 for SATS exams. Having finished a unit, she starts asking questions.

Teacher: So, who knows the answer to the volume of this cube?

(Boy puts his hand up)

Teacher: Oh, yes please tell us the answer!

Boy 1: Miss, can I go to the toilet please?

(Teacher rolls her eyes while the children snort and giggle) (A girl puts her hand up)

Teacher: Oh thank goodness, someone knows the answer! Tell us!

Girl 1: Miss, can I have some water?

Teacher: (sighs impatiently and mutters) Four years of training for this!

Group of boys: (whisper) I didn’t know she was that old!

Teacher: I’m done. I’m too old for this. Children we have SATS coming up. Take it seriously!

Girl: 2 Miss, what is SATS?

Teacher: That’s it, I’m leaving.

(Lunch bell rings) Children: (Jumping out of seats) it’s lunchtime!

Teacher: Stop! Say the prayer!

Children: (Groaning) Sadi dada vidyaja jojandria taheka… (They rush through the prayer to run out of the door)

Teacher: Good! Now off you go and let me eat my chocolate cookie in peace.

Act 2  At Home

A Mum is trying to help her son revise.

Mum: I’m afraid 12 out of 12 is not good enough

Boy: Oh, here we go again!

Mum: I expect my son to get 13 out of 12! You’ll never live up to your sister’s standards

Boy: I DON‟T EVEN HAVE A SISTER!

Mum: Alright, no need to be feisty young man! I thought you just needed some inspiration from your sister!

Boy: I DON‟T HAVE… Oh forget it!

(Groans and walks off muttering to himself) Seriously, why did I get this mum?

Mum: I heard that!

1 Hour later

Boy: Oh no! More homework! Come on SATS is tomorrow. I thought Miss told us to relax! Does she want us to relax by doing homework or what? (Makes an annoyed face)

Mum: I’ll come in 10 minutes to come and kiss you and your sister goodnight

Boy: I TOLD YOU I DON‟T HAVE A SISTER!

Mum:  Alright, alright! Sweet dreams. Sleep tight and try dreaming about making mummy proud.

Boy : Kill me now!

Act 3  During SATS

Teacher: Ok children. Here are your papers. You may begin… NOW!

Girl 1: Oh, if I guess all these questions there is a 25% chance that I will get them all right.

Boy 1: (peers over at partner’s work)

Teacher: Young man, stop that at once! Come and sit here!

Boy 1: HUH? (Rolls eyes in surprise)

Teacher: Quiet! You have 45 minutes left!

Girl 2: Yay! I am sooo gonna pass this test. This is so easy!

Boy 2: Oh dear I don’t know how to do this. What is the spelling of „peace‟? I am sure it’s not ‘p-e-e-c-e’ is it?

25 minutes later

Teacher: 10 minutes left children!

Girl 1: Already? I’m only on question 5.

Boy 1: Yes! Only 25 questions to go!

Teacher: 5 minutes!

Boy 3: Oh dear! The first question is so hard! How on earth am I going to spell MY NAME!

Teacher: Last minute!

Boy 3: I’m dead… (He faints)

Act 4 The Results

Teacher: Right class, your SATS results have come.

Girl: Oh, please say I got 100%

Teacher: Shriya got… 99%

Girl 1: Oh no my mum’s going to kill me, I didn’t get a 100%!

Teacher: Vinay got… 85%

Boy 1: Oh wow I passed!

Teacher: Sahil got… 0%. Sahil, this is utterly unacceptable! They had to send the paper back because you didn’t even write your name! Sahil?  Stand up when I speak to you.

Girl 2: Miss we don’t have a Sahil in the class.

Teacher: We don’t? … Oh sorry, Sunil, where are you?

Boy 2: Miss, Sunil is being home schooled. Remember, after he fainted?

Teacher: Oh GOD! How much of the day have I got left?

Boy 2: It’s just 8:03 am! Teacher: Ugh! (rolls her eyes in despair)

The End.

Written by Rayna and Mahi